What do you expect?

This is what any person would wish for for their life to be perfect.

1. Great friends. Notice I said friends so 1 friend doesn't exactly count.

2. Nice enough parents. Not the parents who let you do what u want to do because that shows that they really don't care.

3. Parents to be together. Living in the same house. Sleep in the same bed. Get along pretty well with each other.

4. Thats pretty much it for now.

People in this world, this generation, is so cruel. All they do is think about themselves.Think about your day. How was it? Was it good, bad, out of the ordinary? Was it loney and peaceful?

Mine was awful. I hate school so much. Its like there is no point in going to school. All the kids do is bump into you like you are invisible and they expect you to get out of their way when they are coming. The kids, they laugh at you as you pass them because you keep to yourself and do what is told. The children, they pick on you because you can't afford what they have. The teachers, they say the things all the other children say. Why can't they be supportive.

Why can't people understand me and take me for who I am? Especially my parents. Why can't they understand that I am the type of person that will get clothes from the salvation army even though my family is f#%&%$@ rich? I am an outcast and I know that now. But I am not that different from the kids at my school.

Wow Today was the best day of my life

I know it's a little late to be writing about about yesterday but I am new at this and I wanted to write about how I felt. Yesterday, I had severay attempts to commit suicide. I tried to drown myself in my bath tub and i tried to live without water and on minimum food. That was broken today. Yesterday, I also disowned my sister. My exact words were, "And you wonder why I am sick. I don't want you to anything else for me other than carry me to school and pick me up. Now you have G to be your sister and mom. Obviously you prefer him than us." Yes, I know that was a little harsh but lately I have been getting the feeling that I am nothing more than a way for my mom to get money from my dad, and my sister to have someone to brag about. My dad is different. Somehow I don't think he cares about me at all. He tries he best to only see me once or twice a week. This week it was once and that was a few hours ago. Before I forget. G is one of my sister's boy toys and it pisses me off to see her waste all her time with him and then he dumps her anyway. My guess is, he will be gone by the end of the year. I have no purpose in this world and I am scared that because I want to die so badly I will live longer. Today is a different story. My dad only came over because I needed a poster board. I was actually happy to see him. I think that's all I need - A little attention. Today with my father, went just the way it goes everytime he visits. We wre yelling at each other because he messed up my project and he left. Now a few hours later, I am writing.

A few poems I wrote off the top of my head.

You wake up and feel hungry.
It's a natural thing.
Birds are chirping outside.
It's a natural thing.
Mom gets up and see your face.
Instantly she gets disgusted and goes to her room.
Its a natural thing.


Music is my life and soul.
What would I do without it?
I don't know.
Mom hates it.
She does not approve.
Sister approves it.
She hates it.
Waking up gets me nowhere.
Going to sleep gets me in the dark.
Cheer up emo kid.



I wish I would cut my wrists
Bleed to death.
I wish I could drown myself in my bath tub
Body floating helplessly
I wish I could hang myself
Lifeless body dangling above the ground
I wish I could die from an overdose
Just fall down one day at school
I wish I could die from malnutrition
Skinny as a stick
I wish I could see their faces when I die
A big weight lifted from their shoulders.

Quote of the day: Talk about me all you want but no matter what you say or do I am still here because I am cursed with the wretched gift of life.

Music:
Aly & AJ: Like Whoa
Paramore: CrushCrushCrush
Good Charlotte: Broken Hearts Parade